"You've been to Coney Island?"

Well if Holly doesn't like me, at least I know there there's a NY cab driver who thinks I'm hot shit. We were barely out of Alphabet City when he breaks out with this gem:

Cabbie: "Are you a model?"

Me: "Am I a mother?" I wasn't sure if I heard him right. Did he not see that I have the biggest ass known to man?

Cabbie: "Are you a model?" he repeated.

(Cue incredulous laughter)

Me: "No, no, I'm certainly not."

Cabbie: "Oh. You're so beautiful. I was just slowing down to tell you so, but then you wanted a cab."

(I. Have. The. Biggest. Ass. Known. To. Man. Cause of international incidents. Didn't you see that, buddy?)

Me: "Well thank you."

(Side note: this guy was in his 20s, so it was not like I was getting compliments from someone old enough to be my dad)

I've had a shitty week and have been depressed, but thanks Mr. Alam Imran for making my night, even though I told you I was gay and you still wanted to pick me up in your "other car" and bring beer to drink. You made a valiant effort. I almost left my shoe shopping purchases in the back of your cab, which prompted you to say, "It's a sign from God."

Oh yes. Yes it was.