Wednesday, May 25, 2005

"Fitter, Happier, More Productive."

Game plan is to get a new job. As my brain slowly decays from disuse and I seriously entertain committing ritual suicide at my desk with a ruler, I have come to the realization that there is no other option. Sanity must be preserved. Asses must be kicked. If I have to beg for something to do one more time, I shall do a swan dive off the top of my building.

I need to lose this odd code of honor where I think that ditching a job after 6 months is bad form and disloyal.

Not a big rah rah lover Egyptian history, I am nonetheless fascinated by the Amarna period during the 18th Dynasty. It's an interesting story because the pharaoh Akhenaten decided that Egyptians would worship one god (Ra), moved the capitol to Amarna, and set about completely changing the culture of the time, specifically evidenced in the shift in the representation of Egyptian art. Then after his death -- and a couple of other brief successors -- Akhenaten was deemed a heretic, capitol moved back the Thebes, and all traces of his reign destroyed. Sculptures were smashed, his name removed from the official registry of kings, and references to his name chiseled out of hieroglyphs. Pretty thorough revenge if you think about it, however obviously not thorough enough since archeological evidence remained and we know the guy existed along with his wife Nefertiti. I even got to see a lot of this broken statuary when I was at the Met on Saturday. Nerd-tastic.

My point here, and it's pretty roundabout, is that Phil Collins is the devil's spawn. While I was on hold with one of our CSRs during my latest fit of boredom, the music blaring through my receiver was none other than Mr. Phil Collins (now referred to as PC). I shuddered and thought back to my shopping experience on Sunday when my ears were assaulted by not only PC, but the Pointer Sisters too. Holding back my immediate reflex to vomit, I pondered what sorry human being programmed the hold music with PC. So in the very long minute or so that I was on hold, I suddenly struck upon the idea that PC needs to be wipped from existence Akhenaten style. Every CD melted, master tape burned, every last musical publication sought after and his name sharpied out like the US Government does to declassified documents. And perhaps we can all envision a day when someone says, "Phil Collins? Who's that?"

Why this guy continues to be a blight upon culture is beyond me.


Jennifer said...

This is my most favorite, FAVORITE entry of yours. Ever.

Dennise said...

I am the proud owner of Genesis' "The Way We Walk" Vol. I & II (circa 1992), thankyouverymuch.

nycrouge said...

C'mon. It's not like I'm being unreasonable here. Phil Collins needs to be wiped from existence.

And Dennise, you know how I feel about your little stash of Genesis.

H said...

Phil Collins does suck. But I'll admit, there are one or two of his songs (or Genesis') that I enjoy. Yet I won't stand in the way of those who want to rid the earth of him.

I want to punch him every time he releases another crappy song to go with a Disney film.

contrary mary said...

Who's Phil Collins?