Thursday, May 19, 2005

"If you're lonely, you know I'm here waiting for you."

For some inexplicable reason I woke up in a really good mood this morning, a little tired (blasted lychee martinis), but doing a sort of mental zipadee do dah as I walked through the sun soaked shithole that is my neighborhood. It was as if I had some sort of great perspective on my life and suddenly everything was making sense -- my job, my lovelife (or lack thereof).

I have to confess to doing a tarot reading yesterday (you have my permission to roll your eyes). Was the tarot reading's outcome the source of today's good mood? Not sure, but the cards did say that I am on the verge of a period of prosperity and that a new opportunity is coming my way blah blah blah. The cards also said I need to stop stalling on things and just make a decision even if it's the wrong one (Holly? New job?). I know, a tarot reading was obviously not a very scientific thing to do, but if things suddenly go on the upswing, you can say you heard it here first.

I went out for lychee martinis last night with Holly (you have my permission to roll your eyes again) and I think I am starting to understand this whole dynamic here: she sort of just got out of a relationship, has disparaged herself as quality GF material (the whole "I'm crazy." response and others), but still makes comments that hint that she wants me around long term (like last night's one about me going to Michigan to meet her family). I think she's being cautious because she doesn't want to get into a relationship only to fuck it up.

Have you finished rolling your eyes? Why you may ask am I even bothering? Faithful reader Heather tells me to "move on" -- fair advice. The reason is that I'm stupid, tenacious, masochistic, stubborn, and always one to see something to the bitter end (I'm a Scorpio afterall). I like this girl because she's beautiful, smart, dorky, and we're amazingly simpatico on many things. So why the hell don't I tell her so? Because in addition to being tenacious, I'm a chicken shit.

So there.


Anonymous said...

From my own experience, sometimes an ill-fated flirtation is just what a girl needs to jump start her life a bit. I say enjoy the drama, as long as no one gets hurt.


H said...

Well, at least it makes for some interesting writing material. However, I'm not so sure this Holly is worth going to Michigan for. I mean, Michigan? Why don't you just have her kick you really hard in the shin instead?

nycrouge said...

I know, Michigan is not an option, though ironically I was born there. I have family in Delaware so it's kind of even.

Woo hoo Delaware!