Tuesday, June 24, 2008

"Why are you doing this to me?!!"

Ms. K's endeavor to quit smoking hasn't gone quite as planned.

On the first day of said endeavor, I watched as she placed a nicotine patch on arm and hoped for the best. She got as far as an hour before she began to seriously crave the cigarette that always accompanies her morning coffee. As the clock neared 11 am, I think I watched her go through three of the Five Stages of Grief, which were especially heightened by the fact that I had hidden her remaining cigarettes.


"Why am I quitting smoking? I never said wanted to quit smoking."


"Why are you doing this to me?!!"


"Just let me have one cigarette and then I'll quit after that one."

Anger (again):

"Where did you hide my cigarettes??!!"

By noon the quitting experiment was over. I surrendered her remaining Parliament Ultra Lights from my clever hiding space, sparing any potential bloodshed. Where was that Kevlar and chloroform soaked rag when I needed it?

I guess I should say that the quitting experiment isn't completely over. Rather Ms. K has decided on a tactic of weaning. Ironically she has also foregone her $9 a pack Parliaments in favor of cheaper hand rolled cigarettes.



Tina-cious.com said...

Girl -- One word: CHANTIX!

Jess and I are now 2 months smoke free.

nycrouge said...

Ms. K has no health care sadly. That and Chantix has some unpleasant side effects.

pins said...

Keep encouraging her to quit, but it might take awhile. It took my girlfreind and I about 6 or 7"serious" attempts before we finally stopped for good. It's HELL but worth the pain in the end.
Good Luck to both Ms K and you!

Sleepy said...

I'm feeling Ms K's pain.
I've given up giving up until I can be put into a coma and wake up 3 months later, my weak-willed system free of the gorgeous, nicotiney lovliness.

Mmm.. Off for a smoke.

S said...

This is why I would never start smoking...I wouldn't be able to quit.

Good Luck to Ms. K

Ms. K said...

Surely you are not comparing me to the hideous creature in picture you have cleverly added to this post. You couldn't find one with a puppy?

I love you to millions of pieces. Even if you make me sound nuts on your blog ;)

Anonymous said...

The only way I could get those patches to work was to stick them over my mouth. The good news is the physical withdrawl from nicotine only lasts three days if you quit cold turkey. Good luck.

Trinity2 said...

I had tried everything - patch, wellburtrin, nicorete gum. But the only thing that worked for me is smoking the most nastiest cigarettes (camels) until I threw up one night. (I think it only took two packs?) I never touched them again after that. It's been 10months for me.
Tell ms K to stick with it - its not easy.