Friday, August 31, 2007

"Unimaginative plotting yields protracted bridges of tedium riveted together with predictability."

Why is it a universal truth that lesbian movies are generally shit? Okay, well there are some exceptions (Fire, Fingersmith, Tipping the Velvet, Aimee and Jaguar, But I'm a Cheerleader), but seriously. Imagine Me & You? Not awful, but fairly pedestrian. Saving Face? Warm hearted but forgettable. Girl Play? Oh so bad. Christ, even the L Word teeters dangerously close to mediocrity and even crosses that line occasionally.

I'm all worked up because I'm only 30 minutes into Gray Matters and I want to gouge my eyes out. Gouge. My. Eyes. Out. Or at least beat my sofa cushions in frustration. The writing is banal, the story line unimaginative, and the acting is generally so very bad. But I paid $4.95 for it and goddammmit I'm going to get my money's worth.

Why oh why can't there be a whip smart, juicy dialogue laden script out there about a woman finding love in the city? Oh wait. I think it's called Operation Find The Lesbians: The Movie.

Sigh.

8 comments:

ms. write again soon said...

OMG - I adored Saving Face! When I started reading your entry, I immediately thought, "she should see that one about the Chinese-American lesbian"...I'm so sad you thought it was forgettable!

Incidentally, your blog categories are getting out of control..."dykey things I occasionally do"?!?

red said...

If you think watching Gray Matters once was bad... try having to see it twice!

Anonymous said...

I also liked Saving Face. But it seems like you and I had similar weekends. I just rented Claire of the Moon off Netflix. I haven't even seen Gray Matters (it's in my Netflix queue--at the very bottom) but I'm willing to bet Claire of the Moon is worse. Ridiculous dialogue, almost zero character development. Even the sex scene doesn't save it. Yet both of those films (Claire and Gray) would probably be beat by Maggie and Annie, which is the worst dyke film of all time. The reason it is the worst lies in its ending, which I won't reveal here in case you want to actually watch it. (Though I would not recommend.) Ok. Back to lurking mode.

Angie said...

Mmm... and don't let's forget the annoying "straight girl takes a lesbian vacation" movies like Kissing Jessica Stein, which I loved until the end when she ended up with that asshole guy.

Imagine Me & You was watchable, but forgettable. I would love to see a mainstream lesbian film where the characters start out gay and stay gay the whole way through.

Josephine said...

Heather Graham, though she seems like a cool person, is a terrible actress. After watching Gray Matters, I know that Bridget Moynahan is even worse. Then they got this great supporting cast, and the movie still sucked.

I can't believe so many people liked Tipping the Velvet. I loved the book, but I hated the movie. I actually enjoyed Imagine You & Me, though. At least the girls were cute. Have you seen DEBS? I loved it. You're not required to take anything seriously, so it really works.

Anonymous said...

Hmmm...not sure of your taste, especially if you didn't care for Saving Face.....

But I watched an amazing Taiwanese lesbian film recently at Vancouver's QFF. Its called Spider Lilies. A lesbian love story that weaves in grief, loss, trauma and its effects on relationships.

The 2 main actresses...mmmmmm...

Beautifully shot, sweet, with a touch of melancholy. Don't worry, not a sad ending! Lesbian director.

btw, tattoos feature prominently:)

You can see the whole film with English subs. on YouTube. Access the trailer by typing in "Spider Lilies syrialexis".

Enjoy!

Holly said...

I really enjoy reading your blog. I suggest avoiding "Pucinni for Beginners." Cross the street if you see it coming your way.

Holly said...

Ah, I wish I had spelled Puccini correctly in my comment. Apologies.