Thursday, April 12, 2007

"You guys seemed like girlfriends."

On Tuesday the number of people who came to my site was 62, a number that was more or less a reflection of a normal day here in Rougeland. Sometimes the number would be higher depending on how many pervs were coming to my site looking for an old photo of my friend J-Wo and I kissing. However yesterday the number was 659. Would that be a 600% increase? I was never very good at math.

Obviously this jump in traffic means that some of my more wincing entries are fair game, especially the early ones where I was still trying to find my voice as a writer, if not my footing in this sometimes maddening metropolis. (Whatever you do, don't click on 2005!) So, er, hi! I'm just going to stick with what I know, which is the obsessive analyzation of my lovelife.

Little has been made in the dating world of the Fake Girlfriend. In fact many of you might be wondering what a Fake Girlfriend is and how she differs from a real one. Her taxonomy isn't quite friends with benefits nor is it dating either. With a Fake Girlfriend you get the full emotional benefits of dating just without those pesky things such as commitment or sex.

To bring some of you up to speed, I have a Fake Girlfriend. See I have this friend who seems suspiciously like a girlfriend. We are regularly in contact in the sort of Hey hon, how's your day been sort of way, use terms of endearment such as sweetheart and such, and will give off the girlfriend vibe when around others. We also go out on fake dates, but we never seem to acknowledge the fact that actual dating is going on.

Obviously nothing in my life is ever simple or straightforward.


EnnuiHerself said...

That would be a 1062% increase, my dear.

I just knew that tutoring algebra for 3 years would come in handy eventually.

The Dirty Canuck said...

dropped in via dorothy. your blog = good time reading. also, fantastic way to avoid doing work. good luck w/ fake girlfriend and all future operations.

red said...

I too have a fake girlfriend, although she often gets in the way of my real one...

I must say, Dorothy has good taste in blogs.

Wendy, G.N. said...

I have one, too. Can't imagine my live without her.


Anonymous Lesbian said...

Can an ex-girlfriend be a fake girlfriend? Because if so, that is exactly what my ex and I have going on. Everyone we know thinks we're secretly sleeping together, people we don't know think we're a couple, we spend much much time together, oftentimes curled up together, half-laying on top of each other on the couch watching movies and so forth. But no sex. Not for a long time anyway. :P

So does she count as a fake girlfriend? Even though we were at one time actual girlfriends?