Friday, April 27, 2007

"The only other time everyone you love will assemble in one place is at your funeral."

I would just like to take a moment to praise New York magazine. Despite its Gotham-centric angle, it is consistently a solidly written magazine with thought provoking features on issues that certainly go beyond the five boroughs. Yesterday I referenced reading "The Lesbian Bride's Handbook" from their Sex & Love issue and how it influenced one of my more interesting dreams of late. What I should have said is that I only read a couple of paragraphs before bed, wanting to save the rest for reading on the subway.

I would also like to take a moment to say that I'm not one for mushy sentimentality, but PMS tends to reduce me to either Ms. Cranky McBitch or a blubbering girl. It was the later version that manifested itself this morning as I finished reading the previously mentioned New York magazine article. Then I started getting all misty eyed in that sort of way that a girl gets when she thinks about love, babies, and frolicking kittens. Reading about the author's "It's not a wedding! It's a party about love!" commitment ceremony, I realized that I wanted one too. Especially after reading this line:

"We just wanted a big, awesome party where everyone could meet and go bananas. It’s a special opportunity, you know: The only other time everyone you love will assemble in one place is at your funeral."

God, I swear I was going to cry right then and there on the 4 train.

"And I do not believe in crummy parties. I believe in glamour. I believe that when you are on your deathbed clinging to the murk of your memories, some will stay with you purely on the power of atmosphere: the way a punch bowl looked surrounded by daisies at your 5th-birthday party, the feel of a certain set of blue sheets the first time you traveled alone. There was no way I was going to let this thing be shoddy—some pathetic hers-and-hers imitation of the real thing or some vaguely patchouli-scented ceremony. If I was going to have a party about love, it was going to be the classiest party about love ever."

Amen, sister!

Before you write me off as a girly girl that has some deep seated need for heteronormality, I will first point to my PMS for blame and then swear to you that gay marriage and babies are low on my list of things to accomplish. However everyone likes a party about love -- even Ms. Cranky McBitch.

So OFAG? Consider it relaunched, motherfuckers.

7 comments:

red said...

PMS ruins everything. One read of those excerpts and I want a party about love! It's amazing how even the most radical lesbians turn into "girly-girls" (well that or a raving lunatic) during "that time of the month."

Anonymous said...

Rock on Sister -- Get your Girl-Hunt on!

Anonymous said...

Yay--I love when Ms. Cranky McBitch shows up, her snide comments are simply divine! More OFAG, less Fake Girlfriend, please.

LG said...

And the world breathes a sigh of relief, being restored to its proper order.

Anonymous said...

First of all, great article. It makes me want to have a party about love and I’m not even PMSing. Second, here is an article which may help you with the relaunch of OFAG

http://msn.match.com/msn/article.aspx?articleid=6935&TrackingID=516311&BannerID=544657&menuid=6>1=9278

Sorry, I don’t know how to do that cute little link thingy. Anyway, good luck!!

Anonymous said...

Okay….so my copying and pasting sucks as much as my inability to create a link. I sent you the article directly (I hope I did that right). Cheers!

Anonymous said...

Well, I suppose hormonal instability is a good thing if it'll get you back in the dating mix. Interesting though, you got all sentimental(yea, you did), and I kicked a hole in my office wall. Then again I was on the "Nuvaring" at the time. So small and so powerful! Nonetheless, good luck Seester! We've got your back like a big ol' lesbian Verizon network crew. And we'll be watching for bullshit. . .