"I think there should be a formal punishment for her flakiness."

Okay, we're moving on. I declared a few blog entries ago that I was taking a break from dating and over the last week my conviction has wavered between two extremes:

• Give up love, romance, and ever getting laid again. Start adopting cats to make up for the fact that only an animal could love my withered heart.

• Return to OFTL with a vengeance. Do not rest until every last Lesbian in all five boroughs are found, tackled, dragged back to my place, and assessed for relationship compatibility.

Of course I chose the middle ground and inquired about adopting a homeless orange stripy kitten that one of my Lesbian Club members found. And then I decided that I need a new strategy.

While hosting brunch at my place Sunday afternoon for my new Lesbian friends, we asked each other to detail our types. You know . . . butch, femme, outgoing, tall, etc. When it came my turn, I realized that I had a very clear view of who I wanted to be dating. Someone smart, an equal, open minded, confident, someone who I can trade wit, someone who has the same aesthetic principles, and can be my partner in crime. Butch or femme doesn't matter -- though I tend to lean towards femme -- so long as there's something sexy to keep me interested.

So why haven't I been dating that?? If I know exactly what I want, why am I not going out there and getting it? Why am I sampling the Lesbian Buffet and picking all the flakes?

Now begins Phase IV of OFTL and it's now Operation Find A Girlfriend. I've been trying to convince myself that I only want to date around, but since I managed to come on too strong with Val and send her running, I need reconcile the fact that my subconscious thinks I am ready for a real relationship.

Hmmmm. Scary.

How am I going to achieve OFAG? (snicker, snicker, OFAG) I will start with a Craigslist ad for scientific research purposes.