Monday, June 11, 2007

"Stop talking my ear off!"

Saturday had started promising enough -- afternoon drinks and burgers at Flatbush Farm with Wendy, Laura (Fake Girlfriend), Carm, Emma, and Emma's friend. Afterwards we ambled through Prospect Park on our way to Brooklyn Pride, later ending up at Commonwealth for more drinks. Despite what should had been a lovely day, the vibe was off, exacerbated by the five hours of sleep I had the night previous. And despite my attempts to find my happy place through alcohol and caffeine, I couldn't shake an uneasy feeling.

All day Emma had been acting strange. First she was upset (annoyed?) that I wasn't paying enough attention and talking to her (sleep deprivation and lack of caffeine doesn't exactly make me engaging). Then she made catty (jealous?) comments that hinted that she was quietly angry over something. Her moodiness was noticeable, contrasting sharply with the celebratory vibe -- so much that Laura made a couple of attempts to lighten the mood to no avail. When some of us left the bar to find food, she abruptly chose to go home instead.

In her wake she left a strange buzz kill of a vibe that wormed its way into my emotions so deep that the evening seemed regrettably shot. I threw in the towel sometime around midnight, head aching slightly from the mix of bourbon and other strange liquors. Why had Emma been so moody? Why did I care? Why did I feel a little dirty?

And then I had my epiphany.

Emma actions would have (barely) made sense if we were dating. But -- newsflash -- we are not dating. While there may be some mutual interest expressed, we are still not dating. I want you to be in my book, however eloquent, does not give license to be possessive.

The worst part was that her behavior had dredged up some unpleasant emotions associated with a girlfriend I dated for a year and a half back in Maryland -- emotions that I had not visited in a while and emotions I never want to visit again.

This is not a good sign. Even if there had been a big misunderstanding and her emotions had not stemmed from something I did, acting the way she did around my friends is cause for pause. I refuse to even consider dating someone who is that emotionally needy. Sorry, not going on that circus ride again. Somebody else can.

3 comments:

EnnuiHerself said...

Please, let's avoid the "angry & needy" girlfriend. It wasn't pretty the first time.

Josephine said...

Geez, thank God I found the right girl when I was 23. I'd hate to still be dealing with that kind of bs. I'm sending you waves of sympathy.

LG said...

Good on you for recognizing the roller coaster that is a dramatic woman early. Took me 5 years to figure that one out.