"Excuse me if I break my own heart tonight."

When we last left Ms. Post No Bills, she was thinking of sticking her head in
the oven . . .

Day One of Operation Find The Lesbians and I already feel like I'm up against a gargantuan task. Spent time perusing the online listings and I've come to the conclusion that besides being tedious, you really can't tell a whole lot from grainy pictures and seven word blurbs. I mean c'mon -- I'm seeing a lot of profiles and thinking, "Meh." Maybe things would be different person to person.

[bangs head on keyboard repeatedly]

Let's look at my options here:

Craigslist W4W: Pretty grim, truth be told. W4W is really just a place for bicurious and spelling challenged girls to demand certain sex acts. Oh and the place is notorious for men posing as women. That said, there are the occasional gems . . . though not for Dennise.

Fast Cupid Network: Used to be Spring Street Networks and syndicated out to the Onion, Village Voice, Nerve, and other publications. Used to be a good tool, but now they need to fire all their programmers. However, it was from this network that I had a date a few weeks ago. Just sent an email back to the date girl to touch base. The pessimist in me expects to hear nothing back.

Pink Sofa Network: Kind of new to this place. The cadre of lesbians don't look too scary. I will have to see if this site turns out to be a good resource in Operation Find The Lesbians.

Match: Disappointed with Match in the past. I feel that it's a site better suited or better utilized by the straights and all the bicurious 20-year-olds in New Jersey.

Executive Lesbian Dating: Wah? Do you have to be a CEO to use this service? I can't stop thinking about Eddie Izzard's routine about executive transvestites.

Real Life: Real life? What's that? Oh you mean lesbians actually exist in real life? Imagine the possibilities.

Incidentally, New York Magazine tells me not to give up hope.