"Well just text me if you need to go with Plan B."

Ass Crisis: An Update

Due to the escalating nature of the Ass Crisis, I have rebutted the UN's warning against unilateralism with a terse message outlining my right to deal with this issue as I see fit. I have also stated that by promoting a policy of containment, I am preventing a regional crisis from spreading to neighboring biologically unstable body parts.

Currently I am weighing my options of force, options which fall along financial lines.

Option 1: Pay $75 dollars for a yearly membership to the recreational centers of New York City Parks and Recreation. Pro is that it's only $75 a year. Con is that the nicest and most convenient location is in the not so convenient area of Chelsea.

Option 2: Take advantage of the discount my health plan applies to gym membership. Pro is that Crunch Fitness is in the plan, which is located next to my office. Con is that it's a $40 sign up fee and a $70 monthly fee, but I get to use any Crunch in Manhattan.

When I get back from my trip to Chicago, I will make my decision.