"I've canceled that in my area."

Ms. K keeps asking when I'm going to "convert for love" and become Jewish. At first I thought she was making a funny joke, but now it seems clear that she's trying to get me into a mikvah. I pointed out to her that I would be the worst Jew ever, first because my Catholic childhood made me deeply suspicious of organized religion, and second because I'm a huge fan of pork. She countered with the (highly biased) observation that reform Judaism is the best of all religions (points for being gay friendly, I'll grant you) and that I wouldn't have to keep kashrut. Hmmm. I'm running out of excuses beyond my burning desire to not swear allegiance to any one God team -- maybe because my ancestry is Irish Protestant and English Catholic. No wonder I'm neurotic.

But -- and this is a huge but -- if I was shopping around for an organized religion and wavering between Judaism and something else, it wouldn't be Scientology. Holy crap, has anyone seen the Tom Cruise big upping of Scientology video floating around the internets?? For an indoctrination video it's both scary . . . and boring. Way to sell it, Tom.