". . . obviously you are a flaming socialite with more lover/friend drama then a queen in the Castro!?"

Now for my monthly OFAG update.

First dates: 1
Second dates: 1
Lesbians who have seriously flirted with me: 1
Lesbians that could be more than friends: 1
Lesbians kissed: 2
Lesbians tackled: 1
Lesbians who said I am their soulmate: 1

August, August, August. What a hell of a month. New job, father's accident, dating, nine states visited, and a reckoning between Holly and I. Did I mention I was broke too? Thinking about getting two kittens? Is this whiplash I'm feeling?

My life has turned upside down, but if anything I think these changes portend a new and prosperous phase in my life as if I have finally actualized what I initially moved to New York for. As Mr. Bad Apologies says, "How in the FUCK did [you] isolate yourself so well in Silver Spring, when obviously you are a flaming socialite with more lover/friend drama then a queen in the Castro!?" I do think that's one of the best compliments that has ever been made about me.

So what of Holly? Well, I saw her and her parents on Wednesday and because we had an audience I was not able to plumb how things have changed between us or whether last weekend was a fluke. And since Holly has been out of town since Thursday and will not be back till Monday, everything is on hold. Sigh.

There you go. I don't know what is going on between us. If I had to wage an educated guess based on the fact that I've known Holly for a year and a half, I would say that she's scared about the change between us even though she wants it -- she's scared of sabotaging her happiness. And me? I'm just scared that things will stall out.