Friday, April 07, 2006

"How about you play good cop and I play the cop who doesn't go to the meeting."

Today is clothing optional day. Why? Because I took a sick day to finally kick this awful cold and now I can have alone naked time -- albeit drugged up on cold medicine alone naked time. I can also catch up on episodes of Lost that I have missed while being the Grand Poobah of Gayness. (This is probably too much information, but whatever -- this whole blog can be classified as TMI.)

So I've realized a few of things lately. One, cold medicine makes me woozy. Two, jello wrestling is incredibly freeing, especially when your tits are hanging out for everyone to see. And three, sometime during the last few months I made some sort of peace with my body. I don't even know how to make you, dear reader, understand that I have spent most of my life hating myself and my body. Middle school scarred me for life, taught me that I wasn't worth as much as the pretty girls, and put a huge chip on my shoulder. What can I say -- puberty happened and I became overweight. It's only been in the last couple of years that I feel that I'm finally finding my natural size. Right now I'm a size 16 and lemme tell you how nice that is seeing how when I left college I was borderline size 26.

I realize the last sentence makes it sound like that losing weight is the only way to love myself. No, losing weight is just a bonus of healthier lifestyle and state of mind (yes, I could stand to cut down on the beer). I remember when I was doing my thing with Anne and I didn't care if she saw all my imperfections. I didn't cringe to think that maybe she'd be grossed out by my varicose veins.

And that, much like jello wrestling, is incredibly freeing.


Dorothy Snarker said...

Your blog is lovely. I’ve been a lurker for a bit now, silently enjoying and laughing at all your travails. Bravo on your recent revelation. While Operation Find The Lesbians is fun, Operation Love Thyself is even better. As a person on the opposite coast engaged in both initiatives, I find the former naturally follows the latter. Imagine that. Cheers.

nycrouge said...

Hooray for no longer lurking! And thank you for your very kind comments. This weekend I shall be embarking on Operation Love My Liver, but something tells me I'm doomed to fail.

Kiko said...

No doubt your blog is very captivating. I couldn't agree more about wrestling. It is fun be it in jello, mud, grass and against a man or woman.