". . . sitting close to you was not close enough."

Tackle
Pronunciation: 'ta-k&l, naut often 'tA-
Function: verb
Etymology: Middle English takel; akin to Middle Dutch takel ship's rigging

1 : to seize, take hold of, or grapple with especially with the intention of stopping or subduing
2 : to seize and throw down or stop (an opposing player with the ball) in football
3 : to seize or grab a prospective lesbian mate before she has had too much time to over analyze why making out or having sex would be a Very Bad Thing.

So, when we last left our heroine, she had spent the better part of last week moping around, eating Ben & Jerry's, and trying to sort through her feelings for Anne. Then Friday came and she perked up, ready to tackle The Lesbians. She joined Anne and her friend at Lychee Bar for cheap birthday food and drinks and then bowling. Things were going well for our heroine and in order to tell the story faster (ahem, J-Wo), I'm going to list the following events in chronological order:

- Anne invited me back to her place.

- I drank vodka.

- There were two Chris Rocks on the television because I was seeing double.

- Vodka bad.

- Anne and I went back to her bed.

- I tackled.

- I stayed in her bed till 5 pm the next day.

Three year dry spell? Over.