"Dear Kensington Post Office"

Dear Kensington Post Office:

I am amazed at your incompetence. Not only are you a bastion of deplorable customer service, inspiring people into meltdowns, but you have lost not one but three pieces of my mail in the last month. That I know of. Two of which contained money!

Fuck you!

Yours truly,

Ms. Post No Bills
Brooklyn 11218

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Now for my more eloquent and polite open letter to my congressional representative, Anthony D. Weiner.

Mr. Weiner,

Although I write at a time of great fiscal crisis insuring that there are matters of more importance, I would like to highlight a breakdown that is impacting your constituents -- namely the quality and basic functionality of the Kensington post office.

I understand that the location of post office concerns the 11th congressional district, but I am hoping that you can help as I am both a resident of the 9th congressional district and the 11218 postal code. I write because of my great frustration as the Kensington post office has routinely lost mail of mine and failed to deliver properly addressed letters and packages. At a time when people are suffering financially, that the post office presumably lost a $315 reimbursement check from my health care company is deplorable. Other mail of mine has also gone undelivered and surely I am not the only one who has experienced this.

If there is anything that can be done to remedy this situation and ensure that the level of service at this post office is on par with the most basic level of competence, your constituents and inhabitants of Kensington will be most ever grateful.

Sincerely,

Ms. Post No Bills