Tuesday, January 23, 2007

"Did you get your luggage back?"

On Friday I hit a low point. It had been building for some time, egged on by a disappointing Christmas, a disastrous trip abroad, scary finances, wayward luggage, and the fallout of a failed romance. It probably didn't help that this time of year is statistically proven to be the most depressing according to Dr. Cliff Arnall, psychologist and former tutor at Cardiff University. So when I left work on Friday, wanting nothing more than to crawl up into a duvet cocoon never to emerge, I made a detour to Trader Joe's and bought a couple bottles of red wine and cava. Then I went to Whole Foods and stocked up on dark chocolate and tiramisu. When I got home to Brooklyn, I poured myself a silly amount of cava, flounced down on the couch, ate the dark chocolate, watched Inside Man, and ordered Chinese while one of my cats curled into the crook of my neck and purred in my ear.

Damn you, 2007. You've made me your bitch. And it's only January. At least I have my cats.

But somewhere between the gorge of chocolate and red wine and a Spike Lee movie, I reached my saturation point on self pity. Perhaps it was the natural mood enhancing effects of chocolate, but when I woke on Saturday something was different. I was different. My mood was different. Case in point? I actually contemplated, if only for a few seconds, returning to the scary world of internet dating by putting my profile back online. I even had this burning desire to clean out of my apartment and remove all the crap like I was preparing myself for the next phase in life. But what surprised me the most was my desire to make a non-cynical return to Operation Find The Lesbians.

Maybe that's what I need? Maybe I need some sort of overarching, purposeful goal or plan to work towards. OFTL started as a New Year's resolution for 2006. Maybe what I need to do is launch Phase V OFTL, but mix it up a little.

I will call this phase Operation Prove Me Wrong (OPMW).

Ladies, I know you're out there. I know some of you stumble on this blog from the lovely Dorothy Surrenders. I know some of you are longtime gay readers. I know some of you HAVE to be single. And while some of you are straight and perhaps feel a little bored when I get my gay on, just bear with me.

So ladies, prove me wrong. Prove to me that you're not all sitting at home with cups of herbal tea and your cat and your ridiculously co-dependent girlfriend of 3 months who hasn't spent a single night apart from you since you met at a used book shop. Prove to me that there are some sane, single ladies out there, so single that it's a crime against humanity that they haven't been recognized for their awesomeness. I know you all have gay friends out there. Now it's time for me to turn my spotlight on you, dear readers. This is what you do:

1. Nominate yourself or a friend as Single And Sane. Don't be shy.

2. Email me with your nomination (email address is in my profile).

3. Provide a short list and reason why you or your lesbian friend is Single And Sane and why this is a crime. You can keep you or your friend's name anonymous. Don't worry -- I have a big respect for privacy and this exists only as a spotlight for the wrongfully overlooked.

4. I post nominations. You restore my faith in humanity and specifically the lesbian world. The caveat is if you send in a nomination and you're clearly neither single nor sane, I won't post it.

5. Depending on how successful this experiment is, I post nominations either weekly or monthly in addition to my own finds in the field. If no one emails in, well there's no hope for any of us or some of you are way to busy drinking herbal tea.

There you go. Prove me wrong. Spread the word far and wide across the lesbian land. Tell your friends to prove me wrong. C'mon, I'm waiting.

1 comment:

dorothy snarker said...

The sane part totally rules me out. But thanks for the blog love. [shuffles feet, stares at ground] I think your blog is, uh, swell too.