"Can I get a sippy cup? Does anyone have a sippy cup? Jesus!"

Is it liveblogging if you blog about a show you watch on the internet? Well here it goes. My bourbon inspired comments on the L Word premier:

* That fucking theme song. It just doesn't get better.

* God, Jenny annoys me. So does Max. (Sorry, Danielle Sea -- I know you're a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend, but your character annoys me.)

* Seriously?? You mean Showtime online is going to bleep out swear words and nudity?? Does Showtime really think that minors are going to clamor to watch this when they can readily watch the freakiest of freaky free p*rn?? This gives me no incentive to watch this legally.

* Apparently Shane goes swimming in the Pacific with her cell phone. Oops she just threw it into the ocean.

* I love Alice! I love Kit!

* You know what, I strangely don't mind the weirdness that is Kit and Angus's relationship.

* Love Alice's hair. How can I get that hair?

* Oh my god. They really made a Chart in real life. And worse, they wrote the website into the storyline. I really don't want to email my "hookups" to ask if they want to be on my hookup page. Does anyone else think that's weird? A MySpace for lesbians? I don't exactly want to advertise my dodgy taste in women.

* I'm so glad I don't have kids. Much less have kids with a gay partner. Much less divorce a gay partner.

* Ugh. That stupid guy. Tina should know better than to have him get in the middle of this custody battle. Bette should know better than to let him in her house.

* Wait. Is this clinic scene with Kit real or a dream?? I'm kind of confused.

* Holy fuck. Jenny is tied to the bed and hot French woman with a corset on is straddling her.

* Don't drink and drive, folks. It's bad, mkay.

* Oh. The clinic scene wasn't a dream. The weird pro-life people were not imagined.

* "You just backed away from us like we had some heterosexual cootie." That's what Tina said.

* Someone should tell Shane that she has blood on her face.

* Holy shit! Marina is back and she just upstaged Jenny's reading from her new book at the Planet. Jenny just gave Marina the Look Of Death. Fast forward a few minutes. Did they just show up at Marina's hotel room to have a threesome? In what universe does this happen? But Jenny goes home to be all moody.

* Uh oh. Looks like Shane might be a defacto parent.

Thus concludes my liveblogging of the L Word premier. For those who don't watch it, my comments made absolutely no sense.