Wednesday, October 18, 2006

"Is naked shower man back?"

Every time the woman across the street from me enters the shower, I want to cry out to warn her. Lady! Don't you know that EVERYONE can see you naked?! You're old enough to be my mom! Oh and by the way, my boss tells me that she's seen your son (?) do naughty things in the shower. Put a curtain up for chrissakes!

It's like watching a car crash about to happen and being unable to do anything to prevent it.

This isn't a puritanical tirade. I don't care that the lady is naked, but I care that she probably doesn't know that everyone can see her shower and would probably be horrified to find out. So I'm wrestling with the idea of going over there and telling the front desk man to alert tenants that we can see them ALL naked and (apparently) masturbating in the shower. But I'm kind of lazy and mildly entertained by watching the maid clean the apartment.

I think I was going to deftly parallel this blog entry with my own special naked time adventures with recent sexual partners, but I got lazy. Instead here's an x-rated list of topics that have been floating around my brain recently:

- drunken sex versus sober sex
- my nose ring getting caught on certain body parts
- Tearing of delicate skin underneath the base of the tongue from vigorous cunnilingus and how to avoid this injury

Just something to think about.


La said...

Or you could send an open letter to the address of the building. Info is conveyed with out the face time.

EnnuiHerself said...

"Tearing of delicate skin underneath the base of the tongue from vigorous cunnilingus and how to avoid this injury."

I believe the word you're looking for is lingual frenulum.

Example sentence #1:
You worry about tearing your lingual frenulum during vigorous cunnilingus.

Example sentence #2:
You seek exercises to stregthen your lingual frenulum to avoid injury.

Example sentence #3:
It would certainly be embarrassing to have to go to the ER for a torn lingual frenulum!

Example sentence #4:
How on earth would explain to your new boss that you had to miss work because of a torn lingual frenulum??

EnnuiHerself said...

As far as your naked lady issue, I would recommend getting a high-powered laser pointer and then shining it through her window.

Try aiming for her nipples.

Fun for everyone!