"The evangelicals have stolen our fun Jesus and replaced him with Evil Jesus! Please help!"

God, I love getting paid. And even though the stingy bastards at work underpay me, at least it's a paycheck. Pay day makes me feel reckless, like going skipping down Broadway for Ann Taylor and Sephora or heading to the nearest bar and ordering top-shelf martinis instead of my $3 rail drink special. When payday corresponds with the second half of the month, all bets are off.

Unfortunately I was reckless with my last paycheck (well last two), which led to the Overdraft Smackdown of 2005. (What? Suddenly my bank thinks I owe them $90 in fees? Wow, I suck at being an adult.) Math has never been my strong point. And New York is a bitch eek out the day when you suddenly have only $60 to last the next two weeks.

So yes, today was payday. Huzzah! And my friend Vi is coming in from Chicago to stay with me. Let the good times roll!