Monday, October 01, 2007

"Because you know breathing is awesome."

September was a hard month for me. Not for any known pressures but rather for internal reasons that are difficult to pinpoint, internal reasons that have left me listless and withdrawn. My blog writing even decreased 50% compared to August. WTF?

But wait, Rouge. Don't you now have a hot ladyfriend with whom you participate in frequent, hot girl-on-girl action? Why so down?? Get yourself together, woman, and celebrate!

I know! I am trying! Emotions are funny things, especially since I'm so analytical with them. I get unnerved when I can't figure out why I'm feeling a certain way. Is it because of work and the fact that it has been blowing? Is it because I don't see Ms. K very often? Is it because there's no food in my fridge accept for eggs and some condiments? Why have I been feeling this way??

Whine. Whine. Whine.

Then I had an epiphany yesterday morning. I am subconsciously scared, scared of repeating my past history with girls, scared about letting love into my life for fear of getting hurt again. I've also been reserved with my feelings for Ms. K because she lives in Pennsylvania. I live in Brooklyn. Long distance relationships suck, but they suck more when you're in love with someone who is not around. N'est-ce pas?

Here's my plan. I stop overthinking. Just simply be. Simplify. Breathe.

I think it will work.

1 comment:

birdonthewirenyc said...

how's this working out for you? i, for one, think you should blame the eggs. it's always their fault.