Tuesday, September 25, 2007

"You are the best thing ever, you should add that to your resume or put it on a business card."

Ms. K has decided that I'm awesome and a half. Was I lacking in awesomeness before? Or had I managed to supersede the awesomeness barrier? What caused this sudden uptick in affection?

When you put it like that, you make it sound like awesome is an insult. I don't know, it isn't that I didn't think you were awesome and a half before, but every time I see you, I like you more and I add to my personal list of reasons that you're the best thing ever. So I decided that you were awesome and a half :)

I have to admit that having my awesomeness praised by a ladyfriend is a new thing for me. Not that I ever doubted my stunning qualities (okay, I might have been a little down on myself at times), but these attributes have been grossly overlooked in the past. I mean, much to Ms. K's sputtering disbelief, I was once single for 3.5 years. And when I say single I mean nothing. Nada. No making out with hot girls and certainly no naked time with hot girls. When that period of forced celibacy was over, the parade of women I dated was middling. Mediocre. Emotionally retarded! Oh how I sighed. The people I even dated previous to my long stretch of celibacy weren't exactly prize winners either. And they certainly never thought I was awesome and a half. Or even awesome.

The point is that unfortunately this means that I have been conditioned to think that dating = awful. That if someone likes me there must be something wrong with them. It's a bleak outlook that I'm slowly overcoming with Ms. K. Thankfully she doesn't think I'm a sped with my whole guarded, mixed signal, cold in the streets routine. In fact she thinks I'm awesome and a half.

So here's my rhetorical question of the day:

WTF?! Why has it taken so long for awesome people to recognize that I am awesome? I'm 28 years old for Chrissakes!


EnnuiHerself said...

It's not the same thing, but I always thought you were awesome and a half. :) Let it be decreed that EH thought Rouge was awesome and a half waaay before Ms. K.!

Although by her recognition of this obvious truth Ms. K herself may actually be awesome and a half (or at least awesome and a quarter) whereas those other women were merely 66.6% awesome at best.

P.S. Can you fix the sentence that says "hole guarded" (as opposed to "whole guarded")? Because I'm a child.

LG said...

For a couple of years, I was the perennially cheated-on girl. All those cheaters came back later to tell me how sorry they were and how they didn't appreciate me when they had me. Probably because they were fucking morons to start.

It's why the cliche is "great minds think alike," not "great minds and fucktards really appreciate each other's finer qualities."

Not the Only One in the Village said...

Dictionary.com define it as inspiring, remarkable, outstanding.
Urban Dictionary define it as:-
formidable, amazing,
heart-stirring, wonderful.

on the other hand.. Thesaurus.com descriptions of the word include;
'horrifying', intimidating, shocking frantic, daunting...:-)