Monday, September 17, 2007

"Rarely is a person so pro-active, conscious, and good humored about bringing a healthy partner into their life."

The death of OFAG came not too long before Ms. K.

I'm not sure of its final moments, but they quietly arrived sometime in June when I was pushing myself out again into the dating world. Although my actions hinted otherwise, I was realizing that my motivations for starting OFAG had drastically changed. For the first time in my adult life I was okay with being single.

Who knew that such an outward push would ultimately turn inward? That the path of OFAG, ironically, would lead to such an epiphany? And who knew that it would inspire people?

"Rouge, dear, OFAG was nothing short of an inspiration. For those of us in the latter part of our twenties (and beyond) it is all too tempting to trust that our perfect mate will miraculously appear out of thin air. Rarely is a person so pro-active, conscious, and good humored about bringing a healthy partner into their life."

All along I've felt that OFAG would lend itself neatly to book form, but even as I got out there and experienced one disappointment after another I never quite knew how OFAG would end. Surely it wouldn't be as clean cut or saccharine as me and a long sought after fantasy girlfriend skipping happily through the streets of New York. No, I sensed its ending would be more complex, yet still convey that satisfying feeling of finality.

The death of OFAG was notable for the way in which it did not die -- not by antipathy or by cliché. Though terribly tempted at times, I did not give up in frustration, and I should feel a special sense of accomplishment for not having shacked up with someone after the second date.

Maybe OFAG had to die in order for me to actually meet a girl who wanted to date me longer than four seconds? What is it that they say about meeting someone? That it never happens when you're actually looking? Or maybe it wouldn't happen till I knew what it was that made a healthy partner?

So now that OFAG is over where does that leave me? Well I've been seeing someone, Ms. K, for the past couple of months, who is notable because she has distinguished herself from every crappy girl I've dated in the past. But I'm trying not to over think things. I'm just trying to be, yet still remember all my hard earned lessons. Take things slooooooow, Sinclair said to me today. Wise words indeed.


LG said...

Does it have to actually die? Maybe it just gets reincarnated in some other quest, some other Operation Find A ______. OFAKACS: Operation Find A Kick Ass Coffee Shop, for example.

It just seems so morbid. Although you did eulogize it very well.

Sally said...

I have to agree with your last line... take things sloooow! Take the time to know her, to enjoy the company without pressuring or rushing things. Take the time to date. Nothing better than dating, and that doesn't have to be limited to certain days or times. Lunch dates are great when possible! And New York has so much to offer! So, I wish you the best with Ms K. Don't hurry.