I've been feeling weird today. Maybe it's the crazy election vibe in the air or maybe it's PMS or maybe it's the heavyweight Saturn/Uranus opposition. Or maybe all three. When I went out at lunch to grab a sandwich I felt so sad -- achingly sad -- and panicked. But why? Today is election day and a day that possibly will bring long sought after good news. Then it struck me.
I'm going to be 30 in 13 days.
I started to silently freak out then and there on 34th Street.
I fought back tears and the irrational fear that was going to end up old and alone but it pounded at my fragile emotional state as I struggled to remind myself of the obvious -- I'm very much not alone.
C'mon, Rouge. Shake it off! Get a hold of yourself!
In all seriousness I don't normally care about the big 3-0, but for some reason I did today, some reason I felt the specter of mortality like a punch to the gut. I still don't have birthday plans ironed out other than a vague idea that I want a party and an even vaguer idea of who would actually show up.
I'll pull myself together soon enough.
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4 comments:
walk it off, girl. the water's fine over here in the 30-something pool.
Twenty-nine was the hardest for me - the beginning of the end. Thirty, however, was a new beginning. Really, Rouge, the 30s are much better and less dramatic than the 20s.
Let me know when you hit 39, where I currently am, and refuse to turn 40.
Kicking, screaming, nails dragging into the ground is how I plan to go into 40.
30's was the best so far ... let see how 40's compare
You used to write funny stuff long ago. Now you whine & whine & whine, and then some more. Are you unhappy or just a tad bitter? It seems to me your life is very much ok, you have not been treated THAT unfair?
I know I m not obligated to read your blog or anything and I will probably receive some insulting comments now, but I liked your blog very much and therefore felt the urge to write this down.
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