Thursday, November 13, 2008

"I can has bookshelves??"

New York is not in a good mood today.

My power tool fueled natural high came to a crash the next day when Ms. K emailed to say that the book shelf installation process was not going well. Yes, the drill cut into the masonry with ease, but after 3 hours only one bracket was up (7 more to go!). Reality check time -- we just didn't know what the fuck we were doing, which was creating a massive time drain. Later, when Ms. K called to vent her frustration, she said she was done bullshitting around with the shelves and it was time to think about abandoning the plan.

Christ, the IKEA bookshelves already represented Plan D and I had sunk around two hundred dollars into this plan once you factored in tool rental and concrete screws. I sighed with defeat and frustration -- frustration because Ms. K and I, by conservative estimate, must have around three or four hundred books. (Obviously I was speaking in hyperbole when I said in a previous post that we had 15,000 books) Stacked waist high along the wall of our living room in addition to towering above the kitchen table, the place looks like a Dr. Seuss illustration. The chaos makes me long for a wall flush with neatly organized books like a smoker must long for that first cigarette after a prolonged separation. I surf enviously on the IKEA website for an economical solution to our personal library. Yes, YES! I MUST HAVE BOOKSHELVES!

Except that I'm broke.

"You really think you're going to be able to have a birthday party here in two days?" she said as we surveyed the damage when I got home.

The lone bookshelf bracket affixed forlornly to the living room wall surrounded by the remnants of the day's hard work. Tools were discarded everywhere, the contents of my hardware box spilled over, and balls of used blue painter's tape littered the floor. Oh boy, the place was a wreck and she was right. How the hell was I going to have my small intimate gathering on Saturday?

Time for Plan E, which involves going to IKEA yet again.


EnnuiHerself said...

I am the proud owner of 3 Ikea bookshelves. I don't know why this is such a problem.

Step 1: Assemble the bookshelves using the handy dandy instruction manual.

Step 2: Put books on shelves.

What exactly is the problem?

thenewgirl said...

This has nothing whatsoever to do with bookshelves, but I'm new to NYC and want to know where to take my girl, who is visiting from out of town, for New Year's Eve? Some dancing, drinking, toasting champagne kind of place. Any suggestions?

nycrouge said...

I'm sorry that my response is so terribly late, especially since you've probably settled on a couple of ideas of where to treat your girl to a nice night out of the town. I would have responded sooner, but the question needs to narrow down on the specifics more. It's like asking, "Where can you get something to eat in New York City?" A thousand questions in response will ensue.

First thing you should know -- stay out of Time's Square. Save it for the tourists. The place goes crazy on New Year's Eve and it's very difficult to get anywhere near withe cops closing off streets and trying to funnel foot traffic.

So what is it you like to do? Do you want something gay themed? Then I would look into whether or not any of the requisite gay bars are doing anything special. Personally, if it were me, I'd find a nice restaurant in Brooklyn to do a package deal at. It won't be as nutty as Manhattan and you can hang with your lady and show her a good time.

My favorite restaurant, The Farm on Adderley, which is all the way down in Ditmas Park, is doing a 1920s themed New Years's Eve.