Tuesday, November 04, 2008

"You might have to hand hold me a little on my birthday."

I've been feeling weird today. Maybe it's the crazy election vibe in the air or maybe it's PMS or maybe it's the heavyweight Saturn/Uranus opposition. Or maybe all three. When I went out at lunch to grab a sandwich I felt so sad -- achingly sad -- and panicked. But why? Today is election day and a day that possibly will bring long sought after good news. Then it struck me.

I'm going to be 30 in 13 days.

I started to silently freak out then and there on 34th Street.

I fought back tears and the irrational fear that was going to end up old and alone but it pounded at my fragile emotional state as I struggled to remind myself of the obvious -- I'm very much not alone.

C'mon, Rouge. Shake it off! Get a hold of yourself!

In all seriousness I don't normally care about the big 3-0, but for some reason I did today, some reason I felt the specter of mortality like a punch to the gut. I still don't have birthday plans ironed out other than a vague idea that I want a party and an even vaguer idea of who would actually show up.

I'll pull myself together soon enough.


Mouthy said...

walk it off, girl. the water's fine over here in the 30-something pool.

tenofive said...

Twenty-nine was the hardest for me - the beginning of the end. Thirty, however, was a new beginning. Really, Rouge, the 30s are much better and less dramatic than the 20s.

Dawg said...

Let me know when you hit 39, where I currently am, and refuse to turn 40.

Kicking, screaming, nails dragging into the ground is how I plan to go into 40.

30's was the best so far ... let see how 40's compare

Surimi said...

You used to write funny stuff long ago. Now you whine & whine & whine, and then some more. Are you unhappy or just a tad bitter? It seems to me your life is very much ok, you have not been treated THAT unfair?
I know I m not obligated to read your blog or anything and I will probably receive some insulting comments now, but I liked your blog very much and therefore felt the urge to write this down.