Tuesday, November 04, 2008

"You might have to hand hold me a little on my birthday."

I've been feeling weird today. Maybe it's the crazy election vibe in the air or maybe it's PMS or maybe it's the heavyweight Saturn/Uranus opposition. Or maybe all three. When I went out at lunch to grab a sandwich I felt so sad -- achingly sad -- and panicked. But why? Today is election day and a day that possibly will bring long sought after good news. Then it struck me.

I'm going to be 30 in 13 days.

I started to silently freak out then and there on 34th Street.

I fought back tears and the irrational fear that was going to end up old and alone but it pounded at my fragile emotional state as I struggled to remind myself of the obvious -- I'm very much not alone.

C'mon, Rouge. Shake it off! Get a hold of yourself!

In all seriousness I don't normally care about the big 3-0, but for some reason I did today, some reason I felt the specter of mortality like a punch to the gut. I still don't have birthday plans ironed out other than a vague idea that I want a party and an even vaguer idea of who would actually show up.

I'll pull myself together soon enough.

4 comments:

Mouthy said...

walk it off, girl. the water's fine over here in the 30-something pool.

tenofive said...

Twenty-nine was the hardest for me - the beginning of the end. Thirty, however, was a new beginning. Really, Rouge, the 30s are much better and less dramatic than the 20s.

Dawg said...

Let me know when you hit 39, where I currently am, and refuse to turn 40.

Kicking, screaming, nails dragging into the ground is how I plan to go into 40.

30's was the best so far ... let see how 40's compare

Surimi said...

You used to write funny stuff long ago. Now you whine & whine & whine, and then some more. Are you unhappy or just a tad bitter? It seems to me your life is very much ok, you have not been treated THAT unfair?
I know I m not obligated to read your blog or anything and I will probably receive some insulting comments now, but I liked your blog very much and therefore felt the urge to write this down.