Tuesday, December 11, 2007

"Knock knock."

Because some of you out there appreciate that I'm mildly freakish and decided that the way I was going solve my financial crisis was by gaining employment from two New York City astrologers, then maybe you will also appreciate that I'm keeping a close eye on the monumental Jupiter-Pluto conjunction transiting my first house today. But most of my clever readers probably care more about what's going on in my non-astro life.

My friend Ms. Mouthy Femme recently wrote:

"My adorable blogger friend, Rouge, posted an entry the other day about how she wondered whether her finding love made her blog . . . obsolete. I didn't comment, but wanted to say that being in a close romantic relationship, we dredge up baggage even more intriguing than we do when we're single, which makes for good reading . . ."

Dredge up baggage? Check.

It's no secret that I don't have the best of relationship with my family owing to my disastrous coming process 10 years ago. While my mother and I in particular have come to some sort of balance in our relationship, we don't talk about the G-word. Except for that awkward mention after last Christmas -- the same cluster fuck of a holiday where I had planned to re-come out to my mom only to find her not in the most agreeable mood. Now that Christmas is once again upon us, I had been thinking if I should try the coming out process again. The difference between this year and last year is that I have girlfriend that I care deeply for.

Whether it's in a couple of weeks or later, by phone or in person, I'm eventually going to have to bite the bullet and resolve one of the biggest unresolved areas of my life. Although Ms. K doesn't want it to be on her behalf and although this resolution stems from a fight we had about Christmas plans, it's something that I need to do.


LG said...

Being in a committed relationship is what made me "re-come" out to my family ("It's still not a phase, Mom!"). My gf at the time had the same concerns that it was on her behalf, but it was more so because I knew what it was to be happy in a relationship and not want to have to hide it or tap dance around it. That gf is no longer around, but my relationship with my family is better off for me standing up for myself.

Anonymous said...


Long(ish) time reader, first time commenter - and only because I thought this was a really inappropriately funny typo:

"It's no secret that I don't have the best of relationship with my family owing to my disastrous coming process 10 years ago. "

You left out the "out."


Anonymous said...

I'm navigating my own family holiday weirdness. Each holiday this year I've been with my gf, due to my mother's not speaking to me because of my gf. Now, mom's speaking to me again and I'm visiting a couple days before Christmas without my gf, but spending Christmas with my gf, probably leading to my mom not speaking to me...goodness knows what it will all bring.
Please keep blogging about this - I so relate to wanting to share your special relationship with your family, and your gf waivering between wanting to support you and not wanting to be the reason for family problems. BTW, she sounds wonderful, your sweetie.

mouthy said...

oh, good luck, girly-girl. it's so hard!

i'm only out to a few of my family members, and being in a relationship with a trans man makes it even harder to find a spot to drop that bomb.

also, thanks for linking to me.

also, i miss you like cuh-razy.