I sometimes joke with Ms. K (who incidentally wants a new blog name) that I feel like a cradle robber. I'm 29. She's 22.
"You're not really a cradle robber. You have to be at least ten years older."
Okay, that takes some of my anxieties away.
"Here's the thing about you being a cradle robber," she continues. "I'm not some crappy 22 year old. It's not like I live in my parents' basement and drink Keystone Lite and make you buy me things. I take you to Vermont to snowboard and own a house and buy you stuff and tell you that you're pretty."
As I type out her comments, she seems frustrated and gives me a look, that scrunched up brow look that I've come to know.
"I don't like that quote," she says, looking over my shoulder. "It makes me sound like an arrogant douche bag."
"I don't think you're an arrogant douche bag. I think you're lovely."
"But your blog readers aren't going to think that."
We're in bed with the laptop. I've taken the day off of work, a cat is curled up with us, and it's snowing outside. We had been planning on how we're going to celebrate Hanukkah later and how we're going to need to go to the store to get latke making supplies.
"Who's your favorite shiksa?"
"You are," she says with a smile. "Why don't tell your blog readers why you like being a cradle robber."
"I forget that you're 22. For reals."
"Because you picked a good cradle to rob."
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4 comments:
Ms K, the quote doesn't make you sound like a douche bag, it makes me smile!*
*and I'm a miserable cynic!
I can attest that Ms. K is neither a crappy 22 year old nor an arrogant douche bag; she is indeed lovely. (Plus she likes math and therefore is awesome.)
All I can remember from real maths is pythagoras rule and standard deviation. And they're not nearly as useful as you might think... But I'm pleased that there's a chance that *someone* out there may find this skant knowledge awesome!
The 3:4:5 rule is very handy.
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