"She's crossed the line into crazy!"

You just have to feel sorry for some people. I mean, what sort of madness would possess someone to write his or her ex knowing full well that a response (if any) to their repeated pleas for friendship would be met with less than kind words?

On Friday I had to put the smack down.

I have to say that I was baffled by email no. 4. It arrived around 2:30 in the afternoon just as I was finally getting a good level of concentration at work, taunting me from my inbox like an unexploded bomb. Should I open it, I asked myself? Was it worth knowing what enraging comments lied within?

It took me a few hours to screw up the courage to open the email, in addition to the moral support phone call I made to Dennise. Goading me to click on the Hotmail link, I read her the email over the phone when the page finally loaded.

We've both reached a unanimous verdict: my ex-girlfriend has lost her mind.

Short of recounting the contents of this email and the ones that came previous, I will say that anyone who states that they "fantasize" about all the things that her and I could do now that we are friends again, deserves a smack. Not to mention that the fact that I didn't respond to her previous emails should have told her the opposite.

So I emailed back with a sternly worded email telling her that she's crossed a line, lost her mind, and that I don't want to be friends. And yet she still wrote me back on Monday (for the folks at home keeping track, that makes five emails in total).

I trashed that message.