Thursday, July 12, 2007

"I think if you stopped [being candid], your droves of lady blog reading admirers would be devastated, and some kind of revolt would ensue."

When I spoke yesterday of my reticence of having my real life encroach on my blog life, what I should have written was that I was feeling very vulnerable since I have been corresponding with one of my readers over the last few days. Reading back through my archives, she came across my dating manifesto and felt enough of an affinity to my plaintive demands to write me her very own well crafted response. Pleasantly surprised by the quality of her email and her lack of craziness, we have been writing back and forth since.

This woman actually makes the second blog reader in how many weeks to respond to my manifesto. And while things didn't work out with
Ms. Y, who after two dates saw us more as friends, I have the nervously expectant feeling that comes when someone likes me enough (albeit the literary version) to pursue something -- nervous because I've met so many people over the course of OFTL/OFAG and have been on so many first (sometimes second) dates that it's hard to suppress that voice that tells me not to get my hopes up lest I have them dashed yet again. But since I'm not completely filled with cynicism, there is still that part of me that has perked up with hope like a machine slowly coming to life.

I could have not talked about this. I could have quietly censored this from my blog life so I wouldn't feel so vulnerable, but I didn't. I'm trying that whole fuck all y'all stance where I pretend that only my friends from back in DC are reading this.

Not that I don't love the blog comments . . .

Scorpios don't like to feel vulnerable. We like to feel that while the rest of the world thinks we're showing all our cards, we're secretly holding onto a few of them. Not so with this blog. All my cards are here. All my dating foibles, insecurities, and laughable ineptness. Enjoy!

6 comments:

birdonthewirenyc said...

go go scorpio power. fuck all y'all is a great motto.

Anonymous said...

Damn right a revolt would ensue!

Anonymous said...

--ooh password protect so ONLY we friends from DC CAN read it! I like being special :) --Red

Tina-cious.com said...

Sometimes I wish I could say everything but just about everyone I know reads my blog...

...and well, just can't take the risk...

so I'm totally jealous.

bad apologies said...

Yes, password protect! I only write for the far-flung HS crowd, and yet keep making the mistake of telling more people about it. I also found never posting is a good way for readership to drop. Which is good if you make proclamations that sound either anti-Semitic or anti-Asian.

For the love of christ, I took one week off of work and I haven't the hour needed to read your PROLIFIC postings. Maybe I asked for more pictures so there would be less text. ;) I need you to turn this into a podcast for my subway rides.

nycrouge said...

Podcasting! Now there's an idea!