Wednesday, July 11, 2007

"The fate of the world of may lie in a Longfellow poem."

Three Things

1. State of the Mental Union

I've come to the realization that while 2006 was marked by the great outward push known as Operation Find The Lesbians, 2007 thus far appears to be defining itself by the opposite, much like a tide retreating from the shore after a wave. If OFTL represented a tsunami of energy, I am currently experiencing the inverse. What did Newton say in his Third Law of Motion? For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction?


This occurred to me as I sat for a beginners meditation class at the Tibet House yesterday trying to pay attention to the rather long winded instructor. He talked of intention and what brought us to the class in the first place. Although I had originally intended to decrease the pile-up of stress that worked has heaped upon me, I realized that another one of my intentions was far more personal. One of the crucial components of Operation Find a Girlfriend is knowing thyself and being at peace with all my neuroses, psychic wounds, and baggage. Then perhaps I will be truly ready for dating prime time.

2. Too Close to Home

If I had my windows open in the early hours of Monday morning I would have the heard the gun shots that marked the moment when two men in a stolen BMW SUV opened fire on two cops, gravely injuring one. Since I had the AC unit cranked in an effort to battle against the stifling summer heat, I didn't notice the sounds of helicopters and police cars till after I woke up -- sounds which barely registered beyond a Hey, that helicopter sounds like its hovering right above the house . . .

Later when I realized what had transpired, I was even more shocked to learn that the shooting had happened right around the corner from where I live. Then end of the street was a mess of police cars and crime scene tape. Since the iconic image cops and firefighters is deeply ingrained in the psyche of all New Yorkers, the local media has predictably gone ape shit while the rest of us can only pray for the one cop still on life support.

3. Anonymity

Whoa. Way too many of my friends in New York now know that I have a blog. And with the Weenie Roast this Sunday, more of my anonymity will be shed. Why am I less weirded out by the hundreds of strangers around the world reading my most intimate thoughts than the people I hang out with? And will I find it harder to write honestly about my love life when potential suitors are reading? Or will I just adopt a fuck all y'all stance and continue to write as if my readership was back down to four people and hope that I don't write myself into trouble?

The Scorpio in me is having issues.

1 comment:

LG said...

Well, the Scorpio in ME says don't settle for someone who is weirded out that you write a blog. It's a BLOG for Chrissakes. Albeit a fantastic and somewhat habit-forming one.